I been through this in my life plenty. Right through Primary school, Intermediate, Even High School to some extent. But still I'm either paranoid or lonely. Paranoid that people don't actually care what I'm up to, or lonely 'cause it's true.
Well all the people that truly know me and know what I've been through in my short life will put it straight down to Paranoia, BUT in saying that the people who "Truly" know me are the ones who don't invite me along when the group goes places.
Put it this way: I feel that none of my friends would really care if I wasn't here, NOT SAYING IM SUICIDAL AT ALL, but this is how I feel. And this is where another side of my theory comes in. Depression.
Now I dunno what it is, I just can't seem to get motivated at all. Used to LOVE driving and rugby, used to love hanging out, used to find the world a beautiful place, but so much has brought me into what I'd call a state of depression. No shit, I kid you not when I say this weather gets me down. It's either icy cold or raining, it drys out my skin making it sore to move and shit. There's a constant grey shadow over this shitty fucken town, and the people who walk these streets are either hood rats who hate white guys or snooty fagz who raise themselves to a higher level. Let other people put you on a pedestal man, don't show yourself off.
Sick of the beef, sick of racism, sick of oil spills, sick of nuclear arms, sick of war in the middle east, sick of the 2012 prophecy/theory which I believe to be all shit, sick of feeling like I'm still stuck on the same track 24/7, sick of not being motivated enough to make a vid or track, sick of bowing down to authority when it's blatantly unfair and prejudiced, POLICE not allowing you to wait for a ride outside McDonalds at 1AM in the morning and forcing you to walk down a dark fucken street because they dont want us there. What dumb cunts.
Chow. (Or Ci`ao or however it goes. I'll just spell it like it sounds.)
